When you find yourself in the shit, how are you going to react? Humans are complex creatures, and yet some times we can be boiled down to some very fundamental behaviors. Cultural anthropology teaches us that our ancestors learned to do two things when faced with (perceived) danger: we fought, or we ran. In fact, most of the animal kingdom can be put in one of these two buckets (an eater or an eat-ee, as the situation dictates).
Depending on the situation, we as individuals will probably react in one of these two ways, and most of the time that’s probably pretty much OK. One place it may not go over well, though, is the workplace. Not much can be gained there by either of these reactions (at least not in a long term, sustainable way), so is there a third reaction that we can apply when faced with a challenging situation?
If we can school ourselves to wait, rather than react, there is another choice. We can assist both ourselves, and the person we are interacting with, if we take this path. When faced with adversity, challenging conversations, even loss, what really counts is how we decide to behave. Do we strike back (fight) or go into denial (flee), or do we rise above the situation and take an action that we can look back on with pride? Taking a moment to pause and recognize that there is just as much going on inside the other person’s head as there is inside our own can be a powerful game changer.
Let’s use the example of a confrontational meeting where one individual is dominating the discussion with their point of view, leaving no room for discussion or input. Your choices may seem to be limited. You can out shout them (fight) or sit in your chair silently seething (flee). Neither one of those choices will probably get you what you (hopefully) want, a reasonable outcome everyone can live with.
So rather than take a page out of our ancestor’s books, try for a more reasoned approach. Engage the other person without agenda, and work to find ways to be helpful and collaborative, while maintaining forward progress. Even if you don’t get to the outcome you want, you can walk away knowing that you put your best effort into a good resolution.
redexec summary? Act today in a manner that you will be proud of when you look back at it tomorrow.
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